We might have forgot . . .

So I’ve had this upset stomach all week.

My mom has a patient who was also on Xeloda (the chemo pill) for a long time, and she told mom that she started using Prilosec and other antacids to help keep her upset stomach under control. So I called my doctor’s RN today to ask if this would be a possible solution for me, because the anti-nausea meds just aren’t doing the trick.

RN: “Oh dear. We usually give patients on Xeloda a prescription for Prilosec. We might have forgot in your case. I’ll send the prescription to the upstairs pharmacy and you can pick it up today.”

Worked like a charm!!! Sure wish they would have remembered to put me on it in the first place! Sigh. The medical system strikes again.

But for some good news . . . I had another PT appointment today. And as she walked next to me down the hall, my PT reminded me that when I first came in, I had to sit with my leg out to the side because the hip hurt too much to bring it in line with the other one. And now I can do leg swings that cross over the opposite leg. Something which would have been totally impossible in the beginning. She’s so good for my morale. She notices and points out how much improvement I really have made – which is great when I’m struggling day to day and don’t notice it myself.

She wants me to stop using my cane.  Ummmmm . . . are you sure I’m ready for that?????? I haven’t walked regularly without some sort of walking aid since last August – and I’m a little nervous. It’s become my safety blanket (or crutch, one might say . . . ha). Admittedly, I don’t ever use it around the apartment anymore, and I even have days where I forget it when I go out. But I normally have it with me, and it feels like a BIG GIANT STEP to give it up.

I can do it, though. I know I can. I’ve walked 26 and 1/2 years without it so far, and I will walk the next several decades without it again.

One step at a time.

Thin-Skinned

I think that once I can get this radiation burn healed, and my intestinal tract to stop giving me problems, I’m going to be in tip-top shape!

What seems to be happening is that the top layer of skin on the burn is starting to turn grey and fall off, and there’s this red, raw layer underneath that TOTALLY HURTS when ANYTHING touches it. I showed my radiation nurses my burn this morning. They were completely sympathetic and sweet, although all my doctor said is that he’d rather burn the heck out of my skin than my bowels, so he’s fine with this. Huh. (I kind of make him sound like a jerk, but truth is – I really like him. He’s a great doc.) So I got a prescription for this gel that has lidocain (sp?) in it and is used on burn victims. Time to numb my behind!

My nurse said that in a week I’ll feel like a new woman, with my new layer of skin. She also said that it’d probably stay tanned and could be a weird ice breaker for parties. I’m wondering who she thinks I’m going to show a tanned square on my behind to. What kind of parties does she go to?

Good news!

I can’t believe I forgot to post this, but I have good news!

I saw the doctor on Wednesday after my radiation appointment. I’d had a CT Scan done the week before because they needed to re-do my radiation treatment plan. I guess when they first did it, my muscles were all tight and contracted from the pain in my hip, and since the pain has gone away, the muscles have relaxed and my hip posture has changed. Historically, they never do another scan that early in radiation (it was only a week and a half in), and it was a fluke that I needed it.

So I asked him if he’d seen any difference in the tumor with that scan. And he says that my bone looks denser. It looks like there is a lot of sclerosis going on. Which sounds bad, but means that the bone is laying down a lot of new calcium – bone-building blocks! He thinks that the cancer is retreating and that the bone is already starting to heal itself. He was almost giddy when he told me this, because he says he doesn’t normally see this kind of response till about three months after radiation is over – not a week and half into it.

The tumor is still really big, and my hip is still really brittle and damaged . . . but this is a really big step in the right direction towards not having cancer in my body anymore!!!!!!!!!

Baby Steps!

Okay, for those in Seattle who know these landmarks – I walked from the lower QA Bartell’s to Silver Platters this afternoon!!!! For those who don’t know these landmarks – I walked about 10 blocks today!!!!

OMG – that was exciting. It kind of felt like I was going on a trek (except that it’s about a quarter of the distance that I used to walk every day just for a cup of coffee). But it was SO GREAT to walk down the street like a normal person (on a cane – sigh).

In other news . . . I just found out that we can bring our own music in to radiation. This was a good discovery, because I lay on that table about 40 minutes every day. So no longer having to listen to the Top 40 will be great. I’m being a very good KEXP member now, and introducing new music into these sweet peoples’ lives. They’re excited for it! I guess most of their patients prefer classical.

Kermit Is More Than Just A Frog

I have a new hairstylist, and his name is Kermit.

My sweet friend Kelly, from work, booked me a hair appointment at Habitude in Ballard. And put me into the hands of a master. I walked out of the salon with crazy, commercial-glamour hair (that will probably never be repeated, because he spent about a half hour blow-drying it).

Then we went out for dinner, and just chatted away. It was so nice to go out and be a girl again! Especially nice was the fact that the most activity our afternoon took was sitting in a chair – which is about all I feel up to right now.

Picture of hair below.

Chemo Day II – and Workout # 1!

My mom came up today to babysit me (she has Thursday’s off). It’s nice to have someone around on chemo days, because I don’t know how tired I’m going to be, or how much help I’ll need (like with feeding and watering myself). We had a good time, just chatting while she knitted. And THEN . . .  duh duh DUH . . . in the afternoon she took me to my new gym (that I signed up for two months ago and still haven’t used) for my very first “starting to feel better” workout! Thank goodness she’s a PT, and could walk me through a very easy workout that will just get the muscles used to moving again. Here’s what I did:

1. Five minutes on a recumbent bike – slow with no resistance.
2. 10 reps of reverse flys (with 5 lb weights)
3. 10 reps of bicep curls (5 lb weights)
4. 10 reps of pushing straight up from the shoulder with the weights (don’t know what that’s called)
5. 10 sit-ups on an exercise ball
6. Then leg extensions – literally sat on the exercise ball and stretched my leg out straight. Or as straight as I could with the bad leg.

And then I was tired and we went home. Took a grand total of about 15 minutes (I rested a lot in between stuff). It’s crazy – I used to run half marathons. Fairly easily! I’ll get there again. This is just the first step.

Chemo this time around has definitely been easier. It makes a real difference not to be recovering from surgery at the same time. I’m still pretty tired – slept about 12 hours last night, and am starting to want another nap – but I’m not bone-marrow fatigued like I was last time.

The good news is that when I get my infusion kit detached tomorrow, they’ve scheduled me for a hydration drip at the same time! So hopefully it’ll perk me right up without the days and days of fatigue that I suffered from last time.

Still no word on radiation. My doctor said yesterday that it should probably start next week – so I’m just sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear. I finally got radiation’s phone number though – so I’m going to bug them tomorrow.

Feelin’ Good Again

One day left to me before I start chemo round II, and I’m so happy to say that I’m feeling good again today! The sniffles seem to have disappeared (for the moment), and, this morning anyway, I’m feeling pretty energetic.

Hip hip hooray!

I’m hoping it lasts all day, but I’ll probably get tired again at some point. C’est la vie. I’ll just nap till I’m better again.

I had to go on painkillers again last night. But I lasted 42 hours without a single one! And hopefully this next round of chemo will keep up the good work and help me to not be in pain again. It’s a lovely thing to be pain-free. I appreciate it so much, and am looking forward to the day when it’s no longer remarkable.  )

And . . . the roasted chicken was excellent.

Officially on Leave

No painkillers in over 24 hours.

I think that’s a record right now. I’ve been on steadily increasing painkillers (vicadin to oxycodone to oxycontin) since August, and remarkably enough I haven’t felt the need to take one since 11:15pm on Saturday (I keep a journal of everything I’m taking). For those of you who know my struggles with the ol’ plumbing system – it makes an incredible difference to ease off the heavy narcotics!!

So, yes, chemo sucks – but something seems to be working.

I’m officially on medical leave starting today. I’ve still got a few things left to take care of at the office, but now I get to concentrate on healing. Which is nice, because Round Two starts on Wednesday. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for my co-workers at KEXP. They’ve been the most supportive, caring network that any girl going through cancer could wish for, and I’m looking forward SO MUCH to getting through radiation and going back to work.

On that note – still no word about radiation. When it starts, how chemo will change during it, nada. I went through an incredibly painful MRI on Friday, which my radiation oncologist wanted in order to determine the best plan for me, so I’m assuming I’ll hear something this week about it.

I am getting out and about more. Although I was laid up in bed all day yesterday, feeling pretty tired from my full day on Saturday and fighting a cold (which I’m still fighting today). I’m eating better, too! For some reason, I have an insatiable craving for roasted chicken. All day yesterday Chris was asking what I wanted to eat. What do you want for lunch – chicken. What do you want for dinner – chicken. So he bought a chicken at the store last night, and I’m going to roast it today. That’s my big project on my first day off.  )

Feelin’ the Fatigue

I went into SCCA (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) today, really last minute. I’m still fighting some serious fatigue, and they wanted to check my blood levels and make sure I’m not too anemic. I’m not!

But while I was there they gave me a nice infusion of fluid to hydrate me and perk me up. Like watering a flower.  ;o)  They set it up to run over two hours, so I got some hot blankets, a hot pack to hold over my core, and snuggled down for a nap. It was nice, actually.

And this evening, I really did feel better. I stood up at the sink and washed dishes. I served myself dinner. Chris and I even ate at the table instead of on the bed! Looooong time since we’ve done that. I’m tired now, of course, but it was great to feel so . . . normal for a moment.

Chris has his new digital camera now, so more pictures should be coming. If he can figure out how to use it.  )

Fightin’ it Rocky-style

We are going for a KO on this whole cancer thing. I’m talkin’ fierce. Chris just got back from the store with goji berries, wheatgrass, flaxseed . . . that cancer better start running, because pretty soon it’s not gonna know what hit it!

Truthfully, I need to talk tough, because I’m feeling pretty weak today. Which is scary. I feel like I need to feel strong in order to fight this – so to feel too weak to stand in front of the mirror and dry my hair . . . or brush my teeth . . . I have to visualize a tough little warrior that’s kicking some butt inside of me, so that I can pull it together enough to hobble back to bed. 2:15pm in the afternoon, and all I’ve done is take a shower.

The day will perk up,  though. My parents are headed up here with Christmas presents, and right now I’m watching these tiny little birds eating away at a couple of bird-seed laden pinecones my step-mom and sister tied up outside my bedroom window. They all look the same, but I think there’s one I’m starting to recognize – while the other birds will dart in and do a quick grab ‘n go, he (she?) will fly in and sit right on top of the pinecone and just peck away, for a solid ten seconds at a time before flying away again. Very gutsy, for a bird. He seems a little fatter than the others, too. I think he’ll get through the winter just fine.